I grew up in a robust and lively household. There was NEVER a dull moment! With a family of 10 (8 siblings and my parents) there was a lot going on all the time. Recently I have been reviewing my childhood and finding out what talents I accrued from my early days. Even though peace and quiet was not something I had in my childhood home, I certainly developed abilities necessary to thrive in a hectic environment. First my ability to handle many people and things at once was clearly established. My ability to tap into others needs and concerns helped me be more adaptable and sensitive to others. Also, considering I was the youngest in the brood, I learned how to stand up for myself and fight for wrongs incurred against myself and others. I suppose speaking up for myself has given me my ability to feel somewhat at ease with public speaking (known to be the number one fear most people have). I could also say that being the youngest almost forced me to make my voice bigger and more unique.
Have you found your voice? What are the unique gifts you have developed or even forgotten from your childhood?
Here are 3 Tips on Discovering (or Re-discovering) Your Gifts:
Tip #1 Your Environment. What was your environment like? Was it chaotic, peaceful and serene, or was it active, exciting and never a dull moment just like mine? Whatever it was like you may gain some clues about the type of environment you thrive best in. However, you may find yourself choosing something exactly opposite of what you’re used to. Having a busy childhood – now you’ve chosen not to have children or you were an only child and now you’ve chosen a house full of offspring. Whatever the choice I wonder if you find yourself anxious or unable to relax? Regardless of your environment – an inability to really relax is a common phenomenon of our culture. We are so conditioned to be craving an adrenaline rush whether it’s by having a jam packed schedule, using food for excitement and entertainment, becoming addicted to Facebook – you fill in the blanks.
Most of us don’t know how to relax. Learning this skill, regardless of how you were raised, is essential if you want to have a healthy and balanced life. The 1st step is to allow yourself to do nothing – yes, you read that right! Stay quiet – no TV, no books, no knitting – just close your eyes fo 5-10 minutes and let your thoughts just drift from one thought to the next. The longer you do this the more you’ll find your thoughts begin to disappear leaving you feeling calmer and more rejuvenated. After your “Mind Relaxation” exercise, you might want to journal about any discoveries or clarity you may found during this process.
Tip #2 Getting Along. How did your Parents behave with each other and with your siblings? Was it the same for everyone? Did they have time for you? It’s funny, I often hear that only children got a lot of attention and yet spent a lot of time alone – a possible contradiction. It’s really hard to have much time on your own with siblings around, but an ability to create quiet time – a time to re-center – can be developed. I have found that when you spend all your time making sure everyone else is taken care of and always busying ourselves with others concerns – we usually forget what we really need.
It’s vital that you cultivate “quiet time” in your day or at the very least sometime in your week. Rushing around here and there only increases your stress hormones, creates unhealthy habits, bad food choices and disturbed sleep among other things. You end up “feeling ragged and worn-out” – not the desirable results when you would rather be feeling productive and focused. It’s difficult to do anything when exhausted and stressed out. So getting along with yourself first is optimal, and the only way to do that is by taking the time to get to know yourself better. What makes you tick, what are your likes and dislikes, what are you drawn to? The more you get along with and know yourself – the better you are at getting along with others. Doing things for the right reasons – not to people please by continuously compromising on your goals or even your values is not the best way to live.
Tip #3 Did you feel nurtured? This may not be easy to assess now that we are adults. Our perceptions of feeling nurtured in our childhood may be a little skewed. I find, in general, one of the most difficult skills to develop is self nurturing. Most of us don’t really know how to do this successfully. Although pleasant experiences like going to the spa, going shopping, going out for lunch with a friend is really not what I’m talking about here. I have often seen frantic women rush to their spa destination as if it’s just another thing to do – another job. They are thinking – “Let’s get this done and take it off our list – it’s supposed to help me relax – right?” This attitude kind of defeats the purpose – doesn’t it?
My mission here is to help you learn how to slow down a little and maybe sacrifice the spa and opt for creating a spa-like sanctuary right where you are – in your very own home without noise, brain clutter, distractions or other people’s agendas. In doing so – you’ll choose better foods to enjoy and eat in a more relaxed and digestively supportive way. Giving your body not only the nutrients – healthy foods – it needs, but also helping those nutrients go to the right places in your body, giving you the most bang for your buck is the key. You see eating isn’t just about the food, it’s about the atmosphere and state you are in before, during and after eating. It’s an art really. The Art of Eating is one of the Arts of Feeling Nurtured so relax and enjoy…
Book to read: The Solution by Lucinda Bassett will help you dig further.
