Archive for Self Improvement – Page 4

What’s in Your Pie Chart?

09/02/13 Monika Comments (0)

So school is about to start – and you might be thinking of getting things in order.  September is always the time of year we get to evaluate where we’ve been so far this year and how we want to end our year. After the summer of letting some areas of your life get off track you may want to start paying attention again.  You might want to start measuring things again.  How about how you spend your time, energy and focus?

I have had several of my clients reviewing just that.  What are your priorities?  Is it work, meetings or volunteering more than you’d really like to?  Don’t get me wrong making contributions to community or organizations you belong to is a wonderful thing to do.  But you need to ask yourself – is the time you are spending in these areas eroding or enhancing the balance in what you want to have in your life?  Do you go to meetings rather than taking time for fitness, making healthy meals or closing your eyes for 10-20 minutes when you come home from work?  If you aren’t doing any of these latter things than you must learn to take things off your plate.  Stop saying yes to everything and start saying yes to you 1st.

I have seen so many struggle with their health and weight simply because they are doing way too much.   So that’s why I am recommending a way to look at important categories in your life by creating a Pie Chart – a visible representation of where you spend most of your time and effort on a daily basis.  Many are surprised, even shocked to discover that they may only eke out 2-5% for themselves.  Could that be your story, too?

Here are 3 Simple Tips on Creating Your Pie Chart To Reflect What You Truly Want:

Tip #1 Get out of vagueness – Being vague about important things in your life can be a killer.  There’s no clarity or sense of direction living this way. If you do, you most likely don’t have much of an idea as to where you are at all.  This strategy (or lack of) can be compared to not writing down what you eat when you want to lose weight or keep your weight in check.  You are not conscious of what is really happening.  In order to become more aware and make necessary changes you must have some form of measurement.  Remember  you can’t change what you don’t measure.  What do you spend your time, focus and energy on during your day?

Tip #2 Making choices – After you’ve identified what’s in your Pie Chart – it’s time to determine where you’d like to spend more time and focus and where you’d like to spend less.  Perhaps you don’t want to be in work mode 24/7.  Or how about reducing some of your PTA activities.

Again, only if these activities are cutting into some of your own self caring personal time do you want to make different choices – modify a little.  If you are not sleeping well, eating on the run (most of the time) or  becoming more irritable with loved ones it’s time to make some changes re-vamp your Pie Chart. 

Tip #3 Have Fun –  Yes, even determining what is important can be a fun, and certainly revealing assignment.  You can have fun creating a new Pie Chart for Your Life.  Suspend reality for a moment and think what could be possible in your future.  Could you carve some time for date night with your spouse more often, have a massage 2x/mo or go to the theater to see a play every 3 months or so.

Plan for a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to go to.  Whatever you choose know that it will take some time to integrate less of the “have-to’s” and more of the “want to’s” into your life.  Have fun with this process.

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Are You on the Heavier Side of Light?

07/19/13 Monika Comments (0)

Every week I have clients come into my office who inspire me.  Often in our sessions amazing ideas come to me for article topics.  Last week one of my clients was claiming that her summer clothes were tighter this year.  Even though she had maintained most of her  initial weight loss from when we first started working together – she had gained 4 lbs in the last 4 months.  It may not seem like a lot, but because she’s tiny to begin with – it was enough to put her into another size – up.

So I ask – are you also on the Heavier Side of Light right now?  Almost sounds like a movie title – doesn’t it?  Like the Unbearable Lightness of Being, for example?  But what I’m asking here is have you lost weight and now some of it has crept back on?  You aren’t feeling that far behind the eight ball, but just enough to have your new smaller sized clothes feeling a little snug.

You must admit you are lighter than you were before – maybe by a lot or maybe just a little.  But you’d like to get back to the smaller size, but maybe you’ve lost the motivation to do just that.  Maybe you don’t want to feel like you have to deprive yourself of sandwiches or desert or that glass of wine at dinner.  Maybe you just don’t want to live that way and the extra 2-12 lbs (or whatever the number is for you) is not worth being upset about.

If you are at that cross roads in maintaining your healthy lifestyle – you may want to ask yourself the following questions to determine if you are willing to do what it takes or simply accept where you are right now. 

Here are your Questions:

Question #1  Do you Like your Body Today?  Perhaps you’ve reached a point where you actually approve and love your body just as it right now.  You realize you will never be perfect or look like a movie star and finally you’re actually OK about that.  You still like what you see in the mirror.  Most of your clothes fit you just fine.  It’s not like it was.  You did dispense with all your “big clothes” long ago or you had your favorites taken in – that’s always a good thing.  So stay proud of how far you have come and the progress you’ve made.  Think of all the things you continue to learn and admire about yourself today.

Question #2  Do you plan to yoyo?  If you feel like you just may end going up and down & up and down for the rest of your life, ask yourself if you’d like to live with these planned fluctuations?  I don’t really advise planning to yoyo – it’s hard on your body, mind and spirit.  Normal fluctuations are common due to water retention, menstrual cycles, or exercise levels.  Eating larger portions than you’re used to or having foods you don’t normally eat are all  part of the “fluctuation dance”.  Watch for  incrementally continuous rises in weight – stopping this pattern as soon as it starts is essential for helping stay in your healthy weight range.

Question #3  Does your new weight require less effort to maintain?  If your new “heavier side of light” weight requires less effort you may want to consider that this is your new normal and stick with it.  You may want to enjoy more of this or that and find that the cost benefit is worth it to you.  Just make sure you stick with your healthy food choices 80-85% of the time.  

Question #4  Are you trying to maintain some fantasy? If you’re trying to maintain an unrealistic weight – a weight you may have been when you were 16, but not at 40 or 50.  This unrealistic weight may become impossible to maintain and will only set you up for further frustration.  Your hormonal balance is so much different now than when you were a teenager.  You most likely got away with a lot when you were younger; but now these indiscretions count – both on the scale and in how you actually feel.  Whether you are getting into your Skinny Jeans or not, you must make sure your weight goal is attainable – long term.

Questions #5   Do you just want to have fun?  You want to forget about constant control – you just want to be free from the scale, calorie counting and “weighing in” – is that right? You just want to let loose and enjoy your life – don’t you – after all isn’t that what life is all about?

This can be a beneficial strategy for some, however for most people too much letting go and having fun may set you off in the wrong direction completely. You may end up several weeks or months later, after having caused more damage and feeling worse, having to start over from scratch.  Now who wants to do that?  You don’t want all weight that you’ve worked so hard to lose. Consider all the time, energy, and money you’ve spent to accomplish a healthier and leaner life and now it’s all gone. So go ahead and have a little fun and know that discipline is not such a bad thing when it comes to your overall sense of wellbeing, pride and respect for yourself.

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Do You Wish Your Body Was Younger?

06/28/13 Monika Comments (0)

Clients often like to tell me how fit or lean they were when they were younger and are secretly longing to have their body be 16 or 21 again. Then there are those who are in better shape now then they were in their younger years and are quite proud of themselves.

Embracing who you are today is actually the best remedy to improve self esteem and acceptance. I believe self acceptance is the first step towards making healthy changes. Sounds paradoxical but being happy where you are right now is a perfect place to begin anew. You see, if you do not like your present physical state, you will end up unconsciously sabotaging your efforts – possibly berating yourself at every turn. That’s not very helpful or supportive. So learn to be OK about not being a lean teen (unless of course you are at this moment). Today you have more wisdom and probably more drive to remain healthy, strong and lean long term.

Here are 5 Tips on How to Be Happy with Your Body Today:

Tip #1   Treat Yourself: If you haven’t had a pedicure or massage recently, treat yourself to one. This kind of pampering can actually connect you physically to your body. You, like most, are often living most of life in your head somewhat disconnected from you body.  Getting in touch with your physicality will also help you feel more in tune with yourself. Exercise or dancing will have the same effect.  Even taking a sculpting class is also richly tactile experience and physical as well.  Explore…

Tip # 2  Best to Let Go:  If the jeans you wore when you were a lot younger are those “someday jeans” – you know the ones you want to fit into again – I would recommend you re-think this idea. Your body shape  changes as you move into your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.  Even after you lose the weight you want to.  You may end being the same weight on the scale as you were when you were younger, but your body may look a whole lot different.

Due to hormonal changes, women’s waist size and upper body size tends to increase. I know, I know you probably didn’t want to hear that, but it’s true.  Loss of estrogen, progesterone and often decreasing testosterone are signals to your body that you no longer need to prepare for childbirth and changes are inevitable as you move into perimenopause and menopause.  The weight shifts and so will your dress size, so throw the jeans out if they’re 15+ years old. You might not be fitting into your old clothes again, so find some new flattering ones for right now. 

Tip #3   Don’t Be Afraid: Don’t be afraid to go to the beach or sit by the swimming pool.  Even if you feel self conscious, as most do, just go ahead and enjoy yourself! Don’t forfeit having a good time, getting some great exercise and feeling like a kid again just because your body isn’t perfect.  Don’t wait to do anything because your body is less than ideal. You will miss out on so much if you do.  There is no such thing as perfection and letting go of that myth sooner than later will increase your happiness a hundred fold.

Tip # 4   Create Something:  Creativity is a powerful tool to improve self esteem. There is nothing like the pride of having made something out of nothing. The creative process gets you away from focusing on any problems (your weight or lack of health) and puts you right into present time where worry seldom exists.  You immerse yourself for a time and feel good as you move into a rhythmic flow.  You discover new things about your creative project and most important about yourself.  There is a sense of accomplishment and meaning when you create. No you don’t need to be a Mozart, Picasso or J.K. Rowling.  Just paint,  draw,  play or code – just for the fun of it.

Tip # 5    Be alive: By expressing yourself fully an extraordinary feeling of being alive will come over you.

As Marianne Williamson once wrote “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you notto be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Feel alive, be yourself and truly appreciate all of who you are today, now.

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Are You Afraid to Eat That?

06/26/13 Monika Comments (0)

You may have gotten to the point where you just don’t know what the best thing for you to eat really is.  There are so many food philosophies; yes I call them philosophies, out there that you’re just not sure where to turn for the best advice.

Well, if you aren’t working with a professional right at the moment, figuring it out on your own could be a challenge.  You wonder “how much protein is actually healthy for me?”  You ask: “Doesn’t high protein and especially saturated fat cause heart disease?”  “Wouldn’t a vegetarian or even a vegan diet a la “Forks over Knives” method work the best for me?” you inquire. “How about all the genetically modified stuff out there – how do I know if my family’s safe?” you ask. And if you’re gluten free you want to know “What can I have instead of gluten?” So many questions and so paths to entertain.

Everyone is unique.  My husband has Kidney Disease and can’t eat greens, nuts, cheese, most fruits, potatoes and several other seemingly healthy foods, but for him those foods aren’t healthy ones.  They elevate his potassium and phosphorous which can have extreme consequences for him.  But if you’re relatively healthy, these kinds of foods are excellent to help maintain good health.

But let’s face it – it’s all very confusing.  Being too rigid is not a solution. There is a condition called Orthorexia, like anorexia it is a serious eating disorder. Orthorexics are so rigid with their healthy eating regimen that they become overly obsessed to an extreme. Unlike anorexia, those with orthorexia do eat but are so fanatically focused on only eating healthy that no food considered unhealthy passes their lips. Even though this is a serious illness, recovery is possible.

So how can you be OK with what’s available and what you put on your plate?

Here are 5 Tips to Help You Be Unafraid of Your Food Choices: 

Tip #1  Relax:  No need to get upset if you happen to eat something that is less than healthy every once in awhile.  Everyone faces this dilemma and we’re often tempted more that we’d like to admit. If you can make healthy food choices 70-80% of the time you’ll be in good shape.  Remember this is never about being perfect but about being healthy.

Tip #2  There is no BAD Food:  Labeling food good or bad can pose a problem.  As I mentioned my husband can’t have greens yet greens are something I recommend all the time to my clients and readers. It’s not good for him but for nearly everyone else greens are good.  Using the word BAD to describe a food can make it emotionally charged and a huge negative punch to your psyche. This association leaves you feeling guilty, miserable and more susceptible to reaching for those types of commonly considered “bad” foods over and over again, especially when things go wrong in your life. A better categorization for food might be: those that nourish and give energy and those that make you not feel good, create symptoms and deplete you of vitality.

Tip #3  Check the Labels:  Even though I encourage you to primarily choose real, whole, fresh foods without labels, sometimes you can’t avoid it.  Make sure the packaged foods you are choosing are GMO free and don’t contain highly modified corn or soy ingredients.  Stay away from unhealthy syrups and sweeteners as well, they are first off  artificial or secondly toxic and you wouldn’t want either in your tummy.

Tip #4  Ask your waiter/waitress or grocer:  If you have any doubt about what’s in the dish you’re ordering tonight for dinner – ask. No need to feel embarrassed or feel like you’re  causing a scene. You don’t need to have a food allergy in order to gain permission for a query. Most restaurants nowadays have become quite used to the more educated consumer wanting to know more about what they are putting into their mouths.

Restaurants have become quite adept at answering most questions the diner has.  Even your grocer is there to help. If you’re uncertain about something, do ask. Also, if your local grocery store doesn’t carry some of your favorite healthy foods, ask them to either stock it or special order it for you.  They’ll be happy to do so and keep you as their loyal customer.

Tip #5 Drop the Jitters: No need to go overboard about the food you eat.  Every food you consume does not have to be gluten, dairy or whatever “free”. Remain calm and do your best to enjoy your meals, savor every morsel and if you don’t like it don’t eat it. Unless you, of course, are more accustomed to eating only junk food, greasy burgers and fries – your palate then needs to be trained for healthier fare. Food should taste good all on its own without the need for sauces, dressings or extra salt.  Whole, fresh food has so much inherent flavor and goodness in it.  Give yourself time to experience the true JOY OF EATING!

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Finding Your Right Bathing Suit

05/31/13 Monika Comments (0)

Ahhhh…. it’s time!  Do you dread it or look forward to bearing arms?   Ok – it doesn’t need to be painful, scary or even forgettable.  It’s just what is.  It’s summer you want to shed the extra clothing and feel comfortable poolside or on your walk in the sand – right.  I have pulled up for you from O Magazine some of the top bathing suit styles that may be just the right thing for you.  I’m not the expert but O’s team certainly is.  Which type are you?  Have fun figuring it out.  If you want to know more click on the link at the end of this article.  Enjoy!

If You’re Big-Chested…

“Finding bathing suits is hard because my top half is much bigger than my bottom,” says Dawn Zimniak, 29, a residential real estate agent. Zimniak relies on mix-and-match separates, strategically placed embellishments, and occasionally even a tailor. “I shop for suits with structure so I can run around and not worry about a wardrobe malfunction,” she says. This patterned minimizer (Miraclesuit, $144) is supportive and slimming; gathered fabric at the waist creates a flattering division between chest and hips.

If You’re Small-Busted…

Singer-actress Jolie Walsh, 33, is forever on the hunt for suits that will build her bust and elongate her petite frame. This bright polka-dot bikini (Nanette Lepore, top, $68, and bottom, $78) plays up the bustline and makes her legs seem like they start at the—very high—waist. “It’s so retro and feminine,” says Walsh. “I never would have expected it to look this good on me.”

If You’re Pear-Shaped…

“I used to compromise on an unflattering top or bottom, but now I see that I don’t have to,” says Jacinda Carlisle, 36, a freelance fashion public relations agent. Thanks to its unique cutaway style, this suit (Tara Grinna Swimwear, $139) accentuates what Carlisle likes most (her small waist) and hides what she’s self-conscious about (her hips). It’s both sexy and demure—and, as she says, “definitely worthy of a trip to the Caribbean.”

If You’re Plus-Sized…

“Basically, I want it all,” says Maggie Brown, 28, a dental assistant. “A suit needs to be sexy but practical: sturdy straps, a good bra, and coverage for my backside.” She loves this swimdress (Carol Wior, originally $110, now $49 with code OPRAH) because it emphasizes her cleavage while concealing her thighs (typically, she buys a separate sarong to match). To complement her curves, Brown gravitates toward one-pieces—”usually solids with some interesting detail.” Check, check, and check.

Sue Molnar, 46, a Spinning instructor, works out six days a week to maintain her lean, toned figure. “It took until my 40s to love my teenage physique,” she says. “But with a small bust and hips, I’m always looking for styles that add femininity.” The vertical axis of this color-blocked tankini (Pret-A-Surf, top, $160) balances Molnar’s shoulders; the solid bottom ($140) breaks up her long torso.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/style/How-to-Choose-the-Right-Swimsuit-for-Your-Body-Type-Find-a-Swimsuit/5#ixzz1wyqVYYeL

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Your NEW Story

05/24/13 Monika Comments (0)

In our last E-zine, I wrote about finding your voice – your gifts. Hope you have been doing some inventory and discovering how precious you are!

Losing one brother and almost losing another 3 years ago has made me realize that not only is life too short and that you should go for it – but also I realized who we meet along the way is who we actually become…

Let me explain.  Everyone you meet contributes to your very essence, your story, your life and who you are becoming.  You connect with some more than others – they matter to you and you matter to them in some way – if only for a brief moment or for decades.

If you have had a past that still haunts or people in your past that hurt you, it’s time to re-write a New Story.  As Paul Simon’s song Re-write suggests“I’m working on my rewrite, that’s right.  I’m gonna change the ending”.

Yes, that’s right you can re-write it any way you want.  As you begin to write – cherish the good and focus on what brings you or has brought you joy and peace.  What gives or has given you a new perspective – a new view on your life and yourself…? During this Holiday Weekend get out your pen and start to explore.

I just watched Oprah’s last show today (recorded). I was certainly touched and inspired by her words.  She spoke about having your destiny and that what you may be doing right now is YOUR platform. Who you meet along the way – who you influence – whether it’s 1 or 10 or 50 people – is just as significant as the millions she’s able to reach.  You have influence – you matter to them and they matter to you.

As you begin re-writing your story, here are 3 Questions to ask yourself:

#1  What was the best part of your childhood… what mattered?

#2  What were your favorite games and past-times…did they matter and how?

#3  Who did you hang out with…who mattered?

Have fun and have a wonderful Memorable Memorial Day Weekend!

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Nourishment

05/17/13 Monika Comments (0)

I just recently read from the I Ching the following:

“Nourishment refers to more than a healthy diet. It is the care-giving function. Eating properly implies care for oneself; providing healthy meals in the home is a sign of caring for the family. The writer of a great book or composer of an inspiring piece of music also provides nourishment, by caring deeply about the quality of his or her work and offering it to the world.

We can know others by observing what they choose to nourish in their lives. Do they properly feed and develop their bodies? Do they cultivate their spirits, their intellects, their moral values? Do they nourish and care for those around them? If so, to whom do they devote their energies? The most successful people are temperate in eating and drinking, thinking and dreaming. They strengthen the world by nurturing everyone’s higher nature.

Pay heed to your thoughts and impulses, ignoring those that undermine a healthy and persevering attitude. A wise person is temperate in the consumption of food and drink, because to be otherwise only leads to discomfort; the fact that temporary pleasure may precede the discomfort does not influence the person of mature character. In the same way, be discriminating in your words and actions, lest a desire for temporary advantage lead you to cause pain for yourself or others. Enrich your character and you will naturally nourish everyone around you.”

Profound – isn’t it? I couldn’t have written this any better. I wanted to relay these ancient words of wisdom to you. I have often said that it’s not only what you eat but how you eat. How you prepare your foods, even in shopping for those items, will nourish your body, mind and soul. How soothing and comforting it is to slow down and sip a cup of tea – allowing yourself to relax for a brief moment – to collect yourself. Or even cutting up your refreshing watermelon. See the color and freshness and imagine how juicy and perfect it will taste! Or getting to bed a little earlier than normal – shutting off the computer long before bedtime – so your mind can be rested and ready to sleep versus being stimulated – that makes falling into a sound sleep much more difficult. How about the simple act of buying yourself some flowers? Or you can simply walk outside into your yard and cut a beautiful bunch of roses – there they will be for you to look at throughout your day … inhale their sweet scent.

I know you are probably getting the idea, right? Nurture, nourish and comfort your body, mind and spirit today, now …

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Envisioning Your Lean & Healthy Future

05/15/13 Monika Comments (0)

As many of you know I have been using Vision Boards as a personal development tool for myself as well recommending it to you for years.   It is a powerful technique that can help clarify your goals, priorities and dreams and can perhaps reveal a strategy on how to accomplish them. Vision boards are now being used increasingly in corporate and business environments for team building and leadership development as well. This magical tool can help you engage your imagination, creativity and the child within.

By using images and words found in magazines you create a collage-like picture filled with things that appeal to you. You can gain better insight as to what kind of future you’d like to have and what’s important to you.  These images can often inspire certain feelings, giving you the essence of what you want to create – for example, maybe you want more quiet time so you pick a picture of a beach scene, or you want more freedom so you pick a picture of a plane or an eagle in flight.  You can choose whatever you like – what’s important is that it means something to you.

When putting your Vision Board together, try not to analyze or think too much about the images you’ve chosen.  Don’t try to be perfect – just allow your right brain – your creative and imaginative side – to have free rein.  By doing this, you are letting your playful and uncensored self tell you not only your most obvious wishes, in visual form, but perhaps some inner yearnings you didn’t even know you had…

I enjoy incorporating Vision Boards into my sessions.  When helping you with your health and wellness, I often recommend this fun and powerful tool to help you visualize what you want.   I often work with many who want to lose weight, the Vision Board process helps to envision that future self – how you’d like to look and feel.  Even after losing weight, this tool can help identify a new leaner self image versus an older outdated image that is no longer applicable. Even when you are stuck, this process can often provide an authentic solution to a problem.  The psychological healing benefit of the Vision Board process is immense.  It can take you on an inner journey and often gives you a wonderfully creative roadmap.

Vision Boards actually help you access another deeper sense of what’s possible.  Often when you see it and feel it – that “it” can often be created in your life. For example, I had a client who was a film producer. She started working on her Board and saw herself in a suit, executive office and being surrounded by co-workers.  She was surprised these images came to her – as her life as an Independent Film Producer was nothing like this.  It excited her though and 6 months later she found herself working in the financial industry and you guessed it wearing a suit, and all the rest.  So you never know what your Vision Board work will reveal and where it will lead you.

Don’t stop envisioning what you want whether it’s a leaner body, seeing yourself waltzing into that holiday party perhaps – all eyes on you – looking and feeling fantastic.  Go ahead – find the image in that magazine on the coffee table right now– HAVE FUN!

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It’s Ridiculous!

05/13/13 Monika Comments (0)

It’s ridiculous when you think about it!  All this time you may be thinking I don’t have any willpower, I’m a failure at eating properly, losing weight, staying away from the cookies, succumbing to my temptations – what’s wrong with me? You cry out!  Well, it may not be your entire fault.  Yes, that’s right.  Choosing the foods you do may seem like it’s always your choice.  But when you are experiencing some uncontrollable, addictive behavior, the foods that you are choosing may actually have a lot to do with your cravings.  You seem to start eating these forbidden foods and then you just can’t stop.

Unfortunately, the very nature of these types of foods is what prevents you from stopping.    The high sugar, high fat and high salt contained within most foods you purchase in packages or even in restaurants are inherently damaging to any concept of self control.  Remember the movie “Super Size Me”?  Again, the very nature of the food business is to you keep you hooked – so you eat more and eat more of the wrong, unhealthy, addictive items.  The portions add up and so does the frequency.

Eating cleanly and healthfully requires commitment and making the firm decision that you need help and are willing to do whatever it takes to stop this madness.  Here are some simple tips to get you started into Eating Sobriety, so to speak.

#1  Portion Size.  I know, it’s easier said than done.  It requires diligence and awareness.  It also requires you to slow down and taste the food you are eating.  Savor it and appreciate what this food is giving you.  Ask yourself – is this food giving me the Gift of Life?  If not, why would you eat this much of it or any of it all?  A profound question to ask yourself, which is not often asked before, during of after your meals.  But I would urge you to consider what and how much you are eating rather than being oblivious to what’s on your plate and subsequently in your stomach. Also, by not eating meals throughout the day, you are much more susceptible to overeating at any one meal.  So balance your blood sugar and eat your 3 main meals everyday.

 #2  Eat your Greens. I pride myself as being “Green”.  For years of course, I’ve been saying eat your greens.  But that’s not all – eat your reds, yellows, purples, blues, etc – you get the idea.  A whole and natural food, unless it has food dye in it, has an amazing, vibrant color.  Real food looks Real.  If its too bright, too intense – maybe an additive has been added – so avoid it altogether.  What creates the enticing and healthy color of foods are the rich natural pigments and various nutrients like flavenoids for example.

#3   For now, stay away from ALL Packaged Foods. As you get started in your journey of healthy eating stay away from all foods in bags, boxes and cans.  Reading labels can be confusing so to begin with, to make it easier, stay away from packaged foods.  And to let you know anything in bags and boxes is never really a true friend anyway.  They are usually filled with excessive calories and artificial ingredients that you just don’t need.  Choose fresh, real foods most, if not all of the time.

#4   Forgive yourself. Beating yourself up or letting others do it for you does not work – ever!  You are a good and well meaning person and deserve to be treated with the utmost respect.  Eating well and staying on track is a clear way of respecting yourself.  If you wander off track and find yourself wrapped up in some unhealthy habits – forgive yourself and start again.  It’s like learning to walk – see that you are making progress one step at a time and know that you will fall down on your way to integrating your new habits – it’s part of your growth – remember baby steps…

#5  Don’t be fooled – Stay Aware.  Denying something is happening will not be the best strategy for you.  Overlooking things you seriously say you want to change and postponing them will only keep you stuck and keep you in a perpetual state of disappointment and frustration. You will never take ownership of your wants and dreams and they will remain in the wishful thinking category of life.  It’s actually a great way to stay stuck and not take responsibility for an area of your life that is not working for you.  We can fool ourselves often – trying to protect ourselves, usually unconsciously, from taking a real hard look at ourselves and the lives we say we want but don’t believe we can have.

#6  Get help.  If you really want to accomplish something it’s worth getting the expert help you need.  Trying to build a house on your own, unless you are a contractor, is ridiculous.  Building a solid foundation filled with healthy, stable and long lasting habits requires a blueprint and someone to help you.  I have seen many over the last year or so try to accomplish their health and weight loss goals on their own.  I’m sorry to say, they have been unable to and remain the same a year later still frustrated and considering desperate measures to gain control of their eating.

#7  Step away from the Table. If your eating environment caused you to overeat change it.  Shake it up a bit and find a new place or ritual to help stop your associations with overeating or eating the wrong foods.  Whether it’s a place in your home or at work or your favorite restaurant – keep your eyes open for a reflex  behavior.   Remember you are attempting to change your behavior which means eliminating potential triggers that take you down the wrong path Remove the exterior stimulants that cause poor eating decision making.

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Even You Need to be Mothered

05/10/13 Monika Comments (0)

Is it possible to Mother yourself when Mom’s not available or nearby?  I say yes.  I think the best thing your mother can do for you is to teach you how to mother and nurture yourself.  But let’s face it – it’s a skill, a talent and a gift.  Doing this kind of self care requires commitment like that of a mother.   But as an adult, it is the #1 thing you need to become adept at.

This Mother’s Day, while showering or being showered by attention, think of how you can become  more self reliant in the self nurturing arena.

Secrets to Get YOU Started on Your Nurturing Journey:

Secret #1 –Reflect:  Do you have time to reflect and think things through or are you always harried, frazzled and stressed?  Well if you spend most of your days in this anxiety prone state, you will not be on the road to long term health.

Learning to slow down and say no to all the distractions which take you away from your true self – your true core – will re-generate and honor your beautiful nature and soul.

Sounds like foreign territory?  You must learn to nurture yourself by creating time without pressure (one of my new mottos) and taking the time to give to yourself – even just a little.

Secret #2 – Journal:  I love to write. I find it a source of grounding, clarity and a place where my imagination can run free.  I get to work things out on paper.  It’s a safe and uncrowded place for me to explore and be as honest as I possibly can with myself.   I know you may not find this easy to do and may in fact run from the mere mention of sitting down to write out your deep and most private thoughts.  You scream out “I have no time, someone might read it, and I’m not much of a writer.”  Start with small steps.  Remember this is a place to get to know yourself better.  To get you started you may want to pick up the classic “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron.

Secret #3  Allow Others to do for YOU:  Alert, alert!  You can not do it all by yourself!  I mean you can, but at what price?  Do you want to constantly feel rundown while feeling virtuous about accomplishing a feat you had set out to do single handedly?  Wouldn’t you like to have a team helping you out all the way to the finish line?  Did you know, collaboration comes very naturally to women, and is so much more rewarding.  Women actually crave it.  Better satisfy this craving than your sweet tooth.  Your “team or helpers” will also feel special contributing.  They will feel a part of something and have a real sense of belonging.  Let them!  Let go of any martyr or saint tendencies.  Come to terms with the fact that you are a mere mortal with needs and an ability to ask for help (always!).

Secret #4   Make yourself Important: But don’t take yourself too seriously.  Don’t dismiss any thoughts or ideas you have.  Value them all – they are a part of you.  The worst thing you can do is attack, criticize or demean yourself in any way.  You want to be supportive of yourself at all  times just like a nurturing mother would be.

Secret #5   Take a Bath:  Nothing like a warm, sudsy, comforting, candle-lit bath at the end of a day that says “I love me”! No I don’t mean in a narcissistic way but in a loving, mothering, and accepting way.

The warmth of this simple yet soothing activity will go a long way.  You will feel calmer, more relaxed and you will sleep better, too.  Your calming brain chemicals, specifically Serotonin and Gaba, will be activated ensuring a deep and restful sleep.

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